Sometimes our biggest enemy in life and business isn’t actually the devil, it is ourselves. Does this shock you? Think I am wrong? Read on a bit and hear me out.
I think sometimes he just sets the stage, or sets things in motion, presenting us with the experience or circumstance and then stands back to watch us unwind. In my life personally, he has come presenting me with the scenario and then stood back with glee as I “took it from there” normally to very dark and lonely places.
How we respond to life’s circumstances and knocks determines where we land up along that road. Remember from last week’s blog, “It’s your direction and not your intention that determines your destination” For many years I had been driving up the wrong road hoping, praying and believing by sheer willpower and misguided faith that I would reach the desired destination, but I was to busy feeling sorry for myself and blaming that I missed all the road signs warning me that I was going in the wrong direction.
Over the last year or two as I have had some major paradigm shifts which made me stop and really figure out where I was and where I actually wanted to end up and which changed a lot of my practises, which has ultimately transformed my direction and it is playing out in a life that lines up with the beautiful words of King David.
“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance, my cup
[He is all I need]; You support my lot.
The [boundary] lines [of the land] have fallen for me
in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.”
you will know that we have just recently immigrated to New Zealand. I had many people warn me that it was going to be hard going and I have no doubt that it is going to be heart wrenching saying goodbye to my mom and dad this Sunday as they go back to South Africa and that we are going to have some serious home sick days and even some bumps in the road, but each time someone has said that to me I have had a strong sense to not just accept that to be the truth.
We arrived on Saturday, after an eventful and very long trip due to my youngest vomiting as we boarded our 2nd plane of the journey after a 7 hour layover in Dubai. We were removed from the plane for a further 7 hour wait. So we left South Africa on the morning of the 5th and arrived the evening of the 7th of November.
Since then in 3 days we have found and bought two cars almost for the price of one, got Dan enrolled in school and found a house to lease a block away from said school. We feel ridiculously blessed and I have been constantly reminded of Psalm 16 above. I want to say I have had nothing to do with it because I don’t want to take any glory from the Lord God, but I do know that since I have had a paradigm shift in terms of my thinking, God’s working seems to be more evident in my life. I am still working through this all, but what I know as a coach that learning to manage your state can and will shift your circumstances.
As I was rereading Psalm 16 this morning, I noticed a reference to Acts 2:25-26 that just blew my mind this morning as I read it.
There are three part’s to work on to manage your internal state, we call it the Triad:
Whatever you are focusing on will determine your destination. If you constantly focus on the negative you will go down that slippery road. What if you focused constantly on God and His goodness…..
“…I saw the Lord constantly before me, for He is at my right hand that I may not be shaken or overthrown or cast down [from my secure and happy state].”
What are you constantly saying to yourself and others? What is your inner talk? If you spoke to a friend like you talk to yourself, would they still be your friend? What are you telling people around you?
‘Therefore my heart rejoiced and my tongue exulted exceedingly”
Now check your body, what is your body doing and how is that affecting how you are feeling? Do you know that a simple action of standing straight with your hands on your hips, legs apart with shoulders back can increase confidence. There are actually studies to prove it. Stop slumping about, with your shoulder forward and your back hunched waiting for people to feel as sorry for you as you feel for yourself.
“moreover, my flesh also will dwell in hope [will encamp, pitch its tent, and dwell in hope in anticipation of the resurrection].”
So in conclusion, lift up your head, shift your focus from expectation of doom, gloom and lack to expectation of pleasant places and a beautiful heritage. Look for those opportunities and expect to have your boundary lies fall in beautiful places, knowing your identity. Watch your words, use each one knowing and understanding the power they weld and lastly put those shoulders back, and walk in a place where you dwell, encamp in hope… Go forth and be awesome as you do.
Tracey Olivier >> Strategic Coach and Business Edge Leadership School Facilitator